Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Random Tuesday

I never have liked ice tea but oh how I have fallen in love with mcdonalds sweet tea, I have to have my daily fix of that every morning on my way to work!!  Im lovin it!!!

I love how my best friend always knows when to call, she can read my blog and read right through me and know whats on my mind!! Oh how I love that girl!! She can tell when your lieing so there is no point in trying because she will always get it out of you which is fine because she doesnt judge which is why I love me some Kelly Carriss!!!

Kids are at home all snuggled up in their nice warm beds oh how I wish we were all snuggling and staying out of this cold weather but that doesnt pay the bills so off to work I go!!!

I love being a nurse but there are times when you MUST suck it up and deal with certain patients! But over all I wouldnt trade being a nurse for anything in the world, hell I worked my booty off trying to complete my nursing degree and the bad thing is is that Im going to be going back!! which is ok because thats more money on the hour for me to beable to provide better for my babies!!

A little boy just came in and smelled like pancakes.... Oh how I love me some pancakes lol

Almost finished with Kaylans scrap book and oh its sooo cute I made her a family one which she loves!! I toot my own horn because It is cute if I say so myself!! So toot toot!! noone else is going to toot your own horn so do it yourself!! Let me hear ya toot toot!!!

I cant get this damn paper to fax I have been trying since yesterday the number keeps saying it busy which is ticking me off because theses vials need to be ordered!! Like yesterday!!! So fax machine if you can hear me please send my fax on through and quit causing me stress please and thank you!!

My dog is soo cute but right now she needs a hair cut like something terrible!! Dog fairies please come take care of this and wash her up and make her beautiful again because this snow is matting her up!! K thanks

I hate sitting by this front door because everytime it opens im freezing which I hate being cold so old man winter you may disappear at anytime now love michelle!!

I really need to clean my car out its starting to look like a mcdonalds with the millions of mcdonalds bags I have thrown in there, any takers want to clean it out for me??? hmmmmmm didnt think so me either.

Some people will never change or they say they have which this person has changed but I have learned that I no longer know who this person is. I have known this person for a very long time and while they say everyone likes this new person not everyone does!! I dont but I guess they have moved on which is crazy to me because we have a family together and this person was all about doing the family thing and now they have changed and I feel like 15years to this person means nothing!! YES blogger world I admit I have done wrong a bunch of times oh yes I have but I cant go back and change that because I would!! This person used to believe in GOD and was saved with me together sitting at a kitchen table but I guess that means nothing to them anymore because they cant forgive. GOD has forgivin me and I know this just wish this person could.

I feel like I cant tell if Im coming or going anymore I need life to slow down a little and I mean fast because this poor girl is getting grey hair lol I swear I am!! Someone please offer to dye for me lol

I love rocking out in my car I dont care who pulls up next to me and stares, stare all you want your just mad cause you cant rock out like me!!

Have a great day blogger friends and remember it could always be worse!! Love to all

Monday, December 27, 2010

Sorry for the delay

Im starting to feel lost not being able to blog on a normal basis I guess I could try to do it on my Iphone but its not as easy. So christmas has come and gone and for the first time in my life I was actually ok with it just passing by. I hate to sound like the grinch but thats exactly what I felt like. I did enjoy watching the kiddos open their gifts and they seemed excited and liked what they had but then they went to their dads and I felt like they liked christmas better over there just because in their minds they racked up. Which is ok because I dont feel like I have to buy my kids love with gifts, christmas isnt about what all we can get its about being together as a family. Of course its always nice to get a few gifts but people go over board.

This was my first christmas not being with the soon to be ex and kids all together in our own cozy little house and I was bummed because we always had good christmases together and I was a little sad I wont say that I wasnt so yeah I wasnt much into the christmas spirte this year.What can I say!

Not much else has really been going on just been working and trying to stay busy as much as I can, seems like I have alot on my mind theses day. Guilt I have alot of that. I hate what I have done wrong to so many people. I just want to move on and be forgivin by those that have been hurt. The one person I want to forgive me probably wont. I feel I dont know that person anymore they have changed so much and it sad, they say they are happy but I know they arent. Its probably easier to tell yourself your doing ok when your not. I wont go into detail on here but there is no way they can happy.

I will get back on here again tomorrow and do some random thoughts thoses are always good because my mind goes from one thing to another anyway. Have a great day blogger friends and remember it can only get better from here!! at least thats what I always tell myself!!!  :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die

Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on # 5 .... I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I can't remember the last time I was kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

random thoughts and feelings

OMG Its been FOREVER since my last post, I know I hate not being able to get on here and blog but I havent got internet at the house. I hate not knowing whats going on in the blogger world!! So I will try my best to post whenever and where ever I can!!

Random thoughts.... Why cant a guy do something nice for you JUST BECAUSE?? Like send you flowers at work JUST BECAUSE they are thinking about you?? I have NEVER had that happen and probably wont for a long time. You know like JUST BECAUSE im thinking about you kinda thing. IDK about alot of you out there but I LOVE when a guy just wants to show you in some way hey Im thinking about you or I miss you. Does that even really happen??

This weekend was pretty good I had the kiddos friday and saturday and though we didnt do too much we still had fun. It snowed saturday so the kids played a little outside and they were always running in and out saying they were cold which it was but whats funny is they changed 500 times and the laundry piled up. Im sure I did that as a kid myself and I can only imagine what thoughts were running through my moms head so If you were still here with us mom I would tell you Im sorry for all the running in and out of the house and leaving you with all that wet snowy laundry lol.

Fire banquet was saturday night and I figured it would have been alot better then it was. While the food was just ok it was nothing to write home about, the awards were ok but all in all it wasnt what I was expecting. But saturday night ended up paying off for itself and it was LOVELY!!

Sunday me and kids played cds and turned the music up and let me tell you they crack me up!! Bradley thinks hes soo gangster and hes only 7. The moves the boy has make me burst out with laughter at him. If you could only see him lol. Kaylan shes a little diva and her personality is soo funny!! Oh how I LOVE those two kiddos of mine!!

Forgiveness... there has been alot of that going on lately and it makes me feel WONDERFUL!! I have forgivin alot of people and have been trying to be a better person. Even though I havent been to church in a LONG time I know that forgivness is a step in the right direction. I feel like if I was to walk into church right now I would be wrong because I know Im not doing what I should be doing. Yes I know GOD forgives and I want my life on track I do. I just feel right now my life is so off track and I know I will get it together and be happier. I only hope that people can forgive me for the mistakes I have made and the hurt I have caused people. I never wanted or thought my life would end up like this.

Oh Kelly Carriss why Im on the random thoughts I LOVE the hand santizer bottle you made with the polka dots ribbon and letter K on it and I was thinking That One with a letter M in the shelbyville rd office would look really cute by my computer and shot room area. Juat thought youd wanna know that!! :)

Christmas this year.... ugggh I dont even wanna think about it!! Really I havent bought the first present yet for my kiddos or anyone else and thats odd for me. IDK this year I guess Im not excited at all because this will be my first christmas where me and Doug and the kids arent a family. Its been the four of us for a really LONG time and now this is our first year apart and YES Im sad. We have had or ups and downs together but we always made sure christmas was special. I miss the fun times the laughter and joy we shared on christmas seeing our kids open up presents and this year we cant do that together. I cant put the blame all on him and I cant put the blame all on me because it was OUR marriage that we both FAILED at. How I wish we were granted wishes so that I could erase alot of pain and hurt that we have caused each other. I only hope that one day we can truely forgive each other. I NEVER ment to hurt him or my kids that was NEVER my intentions but guess what I hurt them and I cant take any of it back because If I could things wouldnt be like this for me, him or our kids. I WILL ALWAYS have love for him I will and Im not ashamed to say that no matter what other people think. We did have really good times in our marriage and I miss that. I have to be strong though for myself and my kids. If I could only say the things to him that I truly want to say to him I would hope he would listen and know they are straight from my heart. He is the ONE person that I wish I never hurt. I know if I could talk to him he wouldnt believe me he would think I was only saying the things I need to say to try and win him over yet again but only I know how I feel and only I know whats real in my heart. Timw will heal this hurt and pain I have caused to my kids and him right?? Maybe one day I will get the chance to talk to him and tell him how I feel without holding back and being scared.

So Kaylan and I played dressup the other night and It was too funny she put on my wedding dress that I wore over 12 years ago and it was cute she really was, lol I tried to get it on but the damn thing wouldnt zip up in the back. I really thought I was skinner now then I was then, Kaylan was only 6 months old when we got married so I thought I was bigger then who knows maybe Kaylan just wasnt zipping it up right lol.

Thats enough for now but I hope all are well and happy!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


I have had my fair share of goodbyes in my life time. First was my uncle Freddie that was involved in a truck accident in Canada. He was working for active transporation and I was in the 9th grade when he was involved in this terrible accident. I always looked up to Freddie like he was my dad, that man treated me like I was his daughter and took me everywhere. That was a hard goodbye because I loved that man so much.

Goodbyes are never easy on anyone trust me I have learned that at a very young age. I had to say goodbye to my granny that had cancer and I was in no shape or form ready to let her go and say goodbye. I was selffish and wanted her here longer with us. I couldnt accept the fact that she was in so much pain all I wanted her to do was keep fighting. I figured if she kept fighting our family could and would beat this. Man was I wrong. That too was a hard goodbye to say. Looking at her and telling her it was ok to go was the hardest thing I thought id ever have to deal with, well I wrong there too. Little did I know I had more goodbyes to make.

This is a goodbye that I still to do this day cant deal with and thats the goodbye to my mom. Mom was sick with cancer as well and yes we had a rocky relationship, what mother and daughter dont at times? Me and mom had really gotten close and having to tell her goodbye left a big hole in my heart that has never been healed. Im angry with her being gone, mad that GOD choose to take my mom!! WHY WHY WHY!!! Even sitting here typing this right now I have tears flowing down my face. I miss her sooo much. Its been almost three years since she passed away and I still dont understand, the hurt seems to never get easier.

I have had to say goodbye to a man that I have known for 15 years. We have been married for 12yrs and we have had our ups and downs way too many times. We have two BEAUTIFUL kids together but we were young when we got together and we grew apart. Did I think that would happen?? No not really because he was all I had really ever known. We were high school sweethearts that had fell in love. Ahh young love makes you so blind. Its that silly puppy love that you think will last forever. It didnt. That was a goodbye that really needed to happen even though it was hard it still needed to be done.

Goodbye to my pop was hard as well even though I had been saying goodbye it feels like all the time but it does at times get easier. His goodbye was unexpected. My pop held our family together and now that hes gone I just pray that we can all still remain close. My pop has always been there for all of us and its hard but I know he knew we all loved and cared for him the way he loved and cared for all of us.

I just said goodbye to a man I have fallen in love with because he decided that he wasnt ready for the whole family thing. He knew I came with two kids that want to be loved as well and he was fine with that until yesterday when he called me telling me that he couldnt do this any longer. REALLY??? Im hurt and pissed because I gave up ALOT for him and he doesnt realize that. But in the end I would rather he tell me now then later. Some of my friends and his friends say oh he loves you Michelle and you all will work this out but do I go with what my heart is telling me or with what my brain is saying I should do??? I just dont know anymore this is all to real and fresh to deal with. I know that GOD has a plan for me and yes I know I should be patient and let him guide my life and put all my trust and faith in the LORD and I do but its still hard because I feel like Im starting to get good at this goodbye thing since I have had to say it enough in my life time. GOD can and will get me through this I know he will because without GOD I have nothing but with GOD I have EVERYTHING!! So GOD im giving you all this anger and pain, you can have it because I dont want it anymore!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Weekend recap...

This weekend was a lazy or I wished it was a lazy weekend lol. Friday I got the kiddos and we ordered pizza and just relaxed, sat we were up early and headed to lowes to buy mud for the kids bedromms that are being redone at the BF house. We got lunch afterwards, came home and mudded a little and then we baked a cake for the BF birthday. The BF turned 32 this saturday and me and the kiddos decided we would bake a cake for him!!!

Fondant that we bought that was neon colors, with the help of a cookie cutter the letters came out perfect!! Plus we made a fire truck since the BF is a fire fighter!!

Kaylan LOVED this project

Bradley rolling out the fondat

Finished cake, lol not the greatest but we had fun trying

Birthday boy with his cake!!

We had alot of fun baking and here lately that seems like all we do is bake. On sunday after the kids went home to see their dad I felt the need to bake again and decided on chocolate cupcakes with purple icing!! Yum Yum they are so delicious!!!! I really dont like cooking at all but decided I love to bake sweets and the BF and kiddos do to!!! Happy monday all!!!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Christmas just around the corner!!!

I am super excited about the holidays coming up that I cant wait to put up the tree and all the decorations and sit back and enjoy some Christmas music!! This Christmas will a different then all the other christmases that me and the kids have had together but with GOD we will all make this a wonderful Christmas!! So I did a little sneaky shopping for the BF "Boy friend" the other day. He left a magazine in my car so I decided to look and see what it was about lol it was a hot rod magazine! While I was looking through it I found something I knew he would love!! It was an ornament that was made into a motor ( a chevy big block to be exact) He loves anything to do with trucks and motors and all the other parts that go ino making a truck!! So without futher adue I give you.......

The chevy big block ornament for the tree!!

See me and the kiddos have our own special ornaments for the tree and the BF needed to have his very own!! We will make this a christmas to remember since the BF has always lived alone he has never had a tree up for christmas since he was a kid so this will be special for all of us. lol maybe a little eye opener for him since he doesnt have kids but none the less he loves my kids as if they were his own!! So to get more into the christmas spirit I decided to put some pics on here of the stuff I would LOVE to get from the BF. lol Its my little wish list!!!

Is this NOT the cutest mixer you have ever seen?? I love it and its Kitchenaid!!! I have been a baking fool lately and this would help out so much since me and BF burned up the hand held mixer!!

LOL who wouldnt want a starbuck IV bag on 24/7?? I LOVE STARBUCKS!! A gift certificate would be lovely since I cant possibly walk around attatched to a starbuck IV all day!! OH did I mention I LOVE STARBUCKS!!!

Ugg Boots... I LOVE LOVE LOVE theses boots!! You can get theses from zappos on line!! A little pricy but way too cute!!! Put some skinny jeans on with theses boots and its instant HOTT HOTT HOTT!!!

AHHH Pink!!! This is just screamimg... WEAR ME!!! I love victorias secert!!!

I also LOVE me some nike shox!!! And of course pink is my favorite color!!!

So thats a start for my wish list!!! I may add on later but it is just a wish!! What is your wish list this year????

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You want honesty then you got it!!!

Ok lets go... I always blog mostly anout my kids (Yeah I know) Why because honestly its easier for me not to really think about whats really going on in my life right now. I dont have one of these fairy tale blogs where everything seems perfect because well Im not perfect and this is my life!!! I cant sleep at night all I do is toss and turn the entire night, why cant I sleep??? The funny thing is though that when I do fall asleep all I do is have these weird dreams and I do mean weird where Im being killed and chased. Why cant I dream of something good? Like naked hot guys lol no I have to dream about someone wanting to kill me!! If I hear a noise in my house I jump and then cant fall asleep because I keep waiting for someone to break in. Maybe they will break in a whisk me away to a far away nice warm beach!!! If thats the case no need to break in I will open the door!!

I worry worry and did I say worry?? I worry about the bills and how Im going to make it till the next paycheck. I wont lie I never really worried abouth that before until I started going through this damn divorce. Yes we made decent money together and I could go shopping mostly whenever but now that Im doing this by myself I dont remember what shopping is. Which is fine because Im learning how to make money last. I know the kids hate it because they always want to go and do things and I of course have to tell them I dont have the money. They act like they dont get upset but I know they do. I feel like Im trying my best to do this and raise them like they should be. Is it hard... YES am I giving it my all YES!! Will I give up NO!!! Poor Kaylan had tried all she knows to get me and her daddy back together and I have tried to explain to her that we cant get back together and I also tried to explain to her how a man should treat a woman and not be treated like I have been. All I ever want is for my kids to love and respect themselves and other people. Have I been perfect... NO!!! I was not perfect in our marriage either and I wont sit here and pretend its all his fault because we are both to blame!!! But I know we can both walk away from this in time and be fine again. I want to forgive and move on and not hold any hard feelings but that takes time.

I do have my own place now with the kids but on days that I dont have them I stay at my boyfriends house. Did I just say boyfriend??? Yes I did!!! I have know this guy for almost 2yrs and even though people laugh and make jokes about us being together because of how we look well he makes me happy!!! Its not always been peaches and cream trust me. I bring alot of trust issues and marriage problems to the table since Im not even divorced yet. I feel bad because I take ALOT of my issues out on my BF and its not fair to either of us. I will say that he has showed how to be loved and has shown me how to grow up and take responsibility for myself!! Hes WONDERFUL with the kids he loves them and treats them like they are his. Its great to sit back and watch him interact with the kids, it makes me feel good inside. One thing I dont like is feeling like Im living out of a suitcase. Its alwats back and forth from my place to the BF place and its always like Im running. He wants me to move back in, yes I said back in because I lived with him but had to move because I had and still have to get my life back together after a 15 year realtionship with the soon to be ex. But I know this BF of mine loves me trust me I do because he tells me all the time and shows me and I love it but dont wana rush like I feel like I always do.

Food.... lol I cant stop eating!! With all the stress I have going on I usually dont eat and end up losing alot of weight but this go round all I do  is eat!!! I hate it, I hate feeling like all I do is stuff my face day in and day out!! I gotta slow down or Im gonna gain and gain and gain!!

Well I just wanted to get some of what Im going through out and I know with GOD I WILL get through this!!! We all just have to have faith that GOD will lead us where he needs us not where we want to go!! He has a plan for all of us and we just gotta understand that GOD will never leave us or hurt us!!!


My babies dressed for halloween... Bradley wanted to be a gangster lol I dont think he knows what that is but he sured posed like he did and Kaylan was a beautiful fairy!! So we headed down to Louisville to my Aunt Cindys house and trick or treated there and had a blast!! They got more candy then even I know what to do with so Im sure around christmas time we will be throwing it out like always!! It was good seeing the kids with smiles on their faces after all they have been going through with this divorce. Some things kids just shouldnt be subjected to. Kids need to be kids and not worry about everything like mine do. All I want for them to know how very much I love them,they are my life and I would do anything for my babies!!! I love when I get to spend my weekends and days through the week with them!! They are loved more ways then they know and I only hope one day they can understand why mommy chose to do what she had to do!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Lovin the fall!!!

So this weekend I had the kiddos and let me tell you we had a great weekend together. Friday Kaylan had stayed at one of her friends house so that gave me and Bradley time alone together to spend as mother and son and we had a good time!! We went to wal-mart which he loves!!! He cracks me up because all he want to buy is smell good mens stuff (thats what he calls it) Hes so into wanting to smell like a man and I cant help but laugh because I dont know where all this is coming from, but I give in because lets face it he wants to smell like a man. Oh how I love that boy!!! I also had a good friend come over and stay her name is Brittany, she used to live with me but has since moved and works all the time so she stayed the night which was nice because we got to catch up on all kinds of things that we had been missing out on. Saturday was a fun filled day all day.... So Im dating this guy and have off and on and hes a wonderful man. He loves my kids and treats them like they are his and I love sitting back and watching him and the kids interact with each other its awesome. Me and Par ( real name Charles but I call him Par) have dated for a while and I had moved in with him and well going through a divorce and living with another man deff puts a strain on a new relationship so I moved out and live with just me and the kids and its helped us so much. Well this weekend Pars family had their annual chili supper and lets just say it was a night I wont soon forget. We got their at 4pm and their were so many kids there that my kids went to school with so they of course ran around and played all night and had a blast, lol I think all they really did was play hide and seek the entire time. The chili was cooked in a hugh pot outside with a fire underneath and I do believe that was the biggest pot of chili I have ever seen and man was it good!! Friends and family all together just relaxing and having a good time and thats what its really all about in the end is just being able to get together and enjoy spending time together and thats exactly what we did!! We ended back at home around 12:30 that night so the kids were wore out from all the running they had done!! Sunday was just as awesome we made cupcakes for halloween and they tasted so good. I have some pics to post but I couldnt hardley get Bradley to smile but he enjoyed cracking eggs and Kaylan loved making a mess with her mommy. We also craved a pumpkin well Par and Kaylan did and Kaylan named him man gaga lol I will have to take a pic of that and post it!! I didnt get any pics of Kaylan whick bums me out because she was the one taking all the pics but that is a memory we all will never forget!! I loved my weekend with my babies and I know they loved it too!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Just a few things I love!!!

Today I decided that I would post a few things that I love... I dont have any pics on here right now of my family but they know I love them dearly!!!
Of course startbucks is a MUST!! I love the white chocolate Mocha!! So rich and creamy and well a girls gotta have her starbucks any chance she can get right???

AHHH Must I say anything??? I love me some Greys.... or at least I think Im in love with this man!! Its nice to curl up on the couch every thursdsay and watch greys and its nice when you can watch a show with some really good looking men!!

Thats right I LOVE my job!!! Without this job I couldnt support my family and provide all the needed things for my kids!! And lets face it we need to breath right and live well!!! So thank you FAA for allowing me to be apart of such a close family!! Special thanks to Kelly Carriss because without you I wouldnt have this Job!!

Candles.... I love the smell of candles in the fall and winter time more then any other time of the year!! I love the smell of cinnimon candles the best, it reminds me of christmas time more then anything else. Lights out, nice warm cozy blanket with some candles lite is sooo relaxing!!

Books... lately all I seem to be doing is reading. I have really gotten into the Janet Evanovich series.. One for the money and two for the dough. They will crack you up!! There are soo many books in this series that it will take me a long time to read them all. Im only on the secomd one but I have the third one on standby for when Im finished!!

Fall wheather and leaves. Just look around isnt it beautiful??? I love driving down my road to my house where it looks like Im in the woods while I drive and looking out at all the beautiful leaves that have fallen and all the leaves that have changed colors is BEAUTIFUL!!! I love the FALL!!

Yummy yum yum.... I love me some donuts!!! I have a hugh sweet tooth and a nice fresh donut all most always hits the spot!!!

Victorias secert.... Tell me a girl that doesnt love them some victorias secert??? From bras and underware to tee shirts and sweats, they have it all!! I love their sweats with the matching jackets!! And who can pass up the 5 for 25 on underware?? I love that store!!!

Thats just a few things that I love!!! What is it that you love???

Friday, October 15, 2010

Finally friday!!!

TGIF!! So glad its friday, this week has dragged on long enough wouldnt you agree??? Im hoping to get plenty of rest in this weekend. I have had my kiddos this week and this weekend they are going to their dads. Im hoping to go visit my aunt Vanessa saturday I havent seen her her a long time and Im hoping for a good homecooked meal from her. lol

Also today we need to keep Emily in our prayers as she faces a stem cell transplant tomorrow. The girl has been through alot and she deserves to get through this and over her cancer battle. So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy friday all and lets all try to make some good memories this weekend, I know I will!! :)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What GOD will ask us

Sometimes we all get caught up in materialist things & how the world perceives us...but what we should be getting caught up in is what God wants for us and our lives.

1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove.

He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.

2. God won't ask the square footage of your house.

He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet.

He'll ask how many you helped clothe.

4. God won't ask what you highest salary was.

He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5. God won't ask what your job title was.

He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6. God won't ask how many friends you had.

He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7. God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived .

He'll ask how you treated your neighbor.

8. God won't ask about the color of your skin.

He'll ask about the content of your character.

9. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek salvation.

He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in Heaven.

Enough said...

Emilys cancer

Ok so I always check out other peoples blogs and today I found a blog that truely touched me. Check out emilyscancerblog.blogspot.com. Its a sixteen year old girl dealing with cancer and her story is amazing. I sat and read all her blogs and let me say she has some anazing faith in GOD by what has happended to her. She has an up beat attitude and does her best to stay positive. I have delt with losing my mother and grandmother both to cancer and even though I know how it felt to lose them both I couldnt imagine dealing with the things that Emily is dealing with. She a strong girl that should be out being a normal teenager not fighting for her life. So please go read her story and let her inspire you like she has me. Happy wednesday all!!

Monday, October 11, 2010


What a weekend, had the kiddos this weekend and finally moved all my stuff out of the house I was living at. Did get a washer and dyer that a friend had sitting in their basement so I was excited about that. Its funny when you had all that basic stuff before and when you are going through a divorce sometimes you lose the basics and dont realize until you no longer have clean underware lol. All I need to look for now is a small kitchen table with some chairs and I will be set. Me and the kids unpacked and put our little house together and are making it a home. I love how my kids can brighten my day and put a smile on my face when there are times I just dont feel like smiling. My daughter cracks me up I never realized how much she knows and really alot is there that she shouldnt know. My son has gotten really clingy with me lately and wants to snuggle all the time and just tell me how much he loves me like he thinks I will forget. I love it that together the three of us are strong. So with all the moving and unpacking and cleaning I am wore out and havent slept much at all and it is taking a toll on me. Im hoping things will become normal again or at least a new normal for me and the kids and Im sure they will soon. Divorce is never easy on anyone but together we can get through this a make us a new life and be happy!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

EWWWW Centipede....

Ok so last night I was sound asleep and really relaxed at 2am this morning when all of a sudden I thought I felt something crawling on my arm!! I brushed it off and then felt it again, I jumped out of bed and turned on my light to see something run under my pillow!! I grabbed my pillow and this is what I saw... this nasty centipede!! It actually bit my arm and 10 mins later my arm was on FIRE!!! I was freaking out not knowing what can happen when one of things attacks so I hurry up and get on the internet and well they are nasty!! They can cause headaches,nausea,vomiting and diarrhea!! My arm broke out with a rash and bite marks from this nasty little creature. aparently they like to come in your house and attack while you sleep!! So beware of the centipede!! But have no fear the one that bit me well that was the bit that sucker will ever have!! Now I just hope I can sleep in my bed again without freaking out that another one is out there waiting to get me!!!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


So what if I.....

Like to lay in bed and read a book to take my mind off things.

Like warm hot brownies with ice cream topped with whipped cream and hot fudge.

Dont answer your call everytime my phone rings that means Im busy.

Love to sing in the shower.

Love to dance and act silly with my kids.

Hate working late on wednesdays!!

Be alone from time to time to just be  by myself.

I still hang out with a guy that you dont approve of, cause remember you dodnt want to be with me.

Love my mcdonalds sweet tea every morning.

I love my kids more than life its self.

have bad habits like biting my nails.

Love sitting outside at night and just relax.

My life is a little crazy at the moment.

Treat my 7yr old son like hes still my little baby.

Love to curl up in bed and take long naps on the weekends.

Love to watch the bad girls club.

Struggle everyday to get by while I go through a divorce.

I have the best friends that a girl could ask for.

Say how I feel and dont hold back.

What are your so whats for wednesday????

Monday, October 4, 2010

Weekend Recap...

This weekend we attended the spencer county homecoming!! The kids enjoyed the parade and all the fun things they had downtown to do. Music,Food and lots of people. The kids ran into some of their old friends they hadnt seen in a long time and got to watch the parade with them and their dad. It was a nice day. Pretty weather and not much to complain about. They racked up on all that sugar that we parents dont like but hey they had a blast!! After the parade they went back with their daddy and I headed home for a much needed nap. Oh how I enjoy saturday naps!! Woke up and a friend invited over me to go to one of his friends for dinner which was nice because I hadnt had a steak in a long time and it was awesome!!! Didnt do too much yesterday but I did go back over to my friends and I made him and I a crockpot full of white chile!!! It was awesomeand it was my first time making it so GO ME!!! I also made brownies and we had ice cream, brownie,whipped cream and carmel syrup and let me tell you I loved it!!! The weekends go by way tooo fast but I cherisevery weekend that I can when I get to spend time with my kiddos!!! Happy monday all!!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Oct 1,2010 Its FRIDAY!!

It is finally friday and and I am sooo ready to get this weekend started!! I have been sick with a cold that has bothered my lungs so bad. I want to rest this weekend and get plenty of sleep!! Saturday we are having a homecoming pararde in Taylorsville and the kids love going to the parade. Its not my weekend with the kids but we are working on taking them down there. Put all our problems aside and enjoy some time with the kiddos!! They deserve it!! Other than that its rest and get to feeling better weekend!! Cant be sick and down when your a nurse that has patients to take care of!! I love my job and I love the fact that its M-F!! I do miss residents in a nursing home home but I dont miss the work there or the weekend shifts!! Being a nurse is a rewarding job and I am so thankful that GOD has givin me this chance to hep change and improve other peoples lives even when mine own life seems hectic!! Happy friday all and enjoy your weekend!!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sept 29,2010 Its been a looong time...

Life has changed so much since my last post. I dont really know where to begin... hmmm lets start with the fact that I have a new job and was welcomed into Family Allergy and Asthma in June!! My friend Kelly works there also and thats how I became a member into a job that truely feels like a family. Its a great place to work and I love it!! Monday through friday and its AWESOME!!! I love my weekends, I mean who doesn't right??

Like I said alot has changed in the past few months... Me and my husband are seperated and are getting a divorce. Why you ask would I put that out here??? Why not its what is going on in my life and I cant run and hide from the pain like I would like too. I never thought I would have to face this reality. We have been together for 15 years. Thats a long time, half my life. Hes the father of our children. We both made mistakes in this so there is no pointing fingers or blame. I wish we would have truely worked harder at our marriage for our sake and our kids sake but we didnt and its a shame. But I want to move on because noone can make someone love them or want to be with them. I want to be happy and enjoy what life has to offer but at times I find myself stuck and dont know what to do. Everything I did I did with my husband and kids and now its just me alone unless its my time to have the kids. Its also hard on them and I hate that they have to deal with their own pain and loss through all this. I feel like I cant be there as a mother should because of the pain I feel inside. I know they say time will heal all wounds and I hope thats true because I want to be happy and see what life has to offer. Dont we all deserve to be happy??? I think so. I want to embrace this new journey in my life and dwell on the past and what could or should have been. So this is my new journey!!!

Kids are doing great, Kaylan is 12 and is in middle school and Bradley is 7 and is in the first grade. They have grown up so quickley and I remember like it was yesterday when they were my tiny babies. How time flies!!!

with all that said I want to keep you all updated on my new life journey, the good the bad and the ugly because thats what makes us who we are today!!! Happy wednesday all!!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Day in the life of a nurse...

As I stated before I started a new job in Frankfort, Ky in a nursing home so I thought I would fill you in on a typical day as a nurse. I awake at 430am to get ready to start my day off, I then leave the house at 530am for my long nothing to look at drive where I arrive about 609am or so depending on traffic. I clock in at 630am and prepare to get my report. As Im waitng to get report I fill out my vitals sheet to give to the Cna's for the day, which is also my residents that I chart on for what ever the reason may be. I then get report and count my narc box to make sure all the narcotics are accounted for and then the med and treatment keys are now mine to carry for the day!! Soon there after I begin to get ready to start passing my morning meds, which of course takes me forever because again Im new and the whole time Im just hoping to catch on and get better with time. I usually finish morning med pass around 930am and take a little break outside with the girls and I usually get a few laughs in depending on who is out there at the time. I then begin to start my treatments which can range from breathing treatments, dressing changes to basic check beds and wheelchairs. That takes a while sometimes but its not too bad. I then do a little charting and then if Im doing good on time I take my lunch at 1130am where I then come back ready to pass my noon meds. Noon meds dont take as long because not everyone has to have them. I then after that have more charting and so on and before too long its 230 where I give report to the nurse coming on to take my place and we go through the whole routine that I went through in the am as far as counting the narcs and so on. I usually get to leave at 3 or a little after but I have stayed over a few times but nothing major. I have been lucky that nothing crazy has happended yet like a full code or anything else. It can get a little exciting at times but so far nothing too exciting and to be honest im ok with that because as a cna I never realized the amount of paperwork a nurse has to do!! So as far as Im concerned things can stay calm for now. I know I cant go into details with the whole hippa law but you get the general idea of what I do everyday and actually I wouldnt trade it for anything in the world I love being a nurse and helping people and leaving an impression on my residents. Thats what its all about at the end of the day, its not the money its the love they show you when they know you truely care!!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

New Job And Lovin it.

I started my new job at Bradford Square on Feb 18,2010. I started out with orientation with a few other girls and then the nexy day I was actually on the floor training as a nurse!! I was scared, nervous, and excited all in one as a new nurse should be. The nurse that was training me that day was awesome, she really knows her stuff and was there to help guide me through the process of everything. Charting I have come to realize is a little harder to catch on then I thought but Im pushing through it everyday and getting better and more comfortable with it each and every day!! I think I thought I would go in there and just know everything I needed to know but come to find out school doesnt really prepare you for the real world like I thought. Yes they teach you how to administer meds and do treatments but charting, admissions and all the paper work is different. I have also worked under another nurse that also has been very helpful and very good at explaining things to me. I feel like Im catching on but so not ready to be on the floor by myself yet. Lol I know its only been 3 full days on the floor and I love being there and I know that I will eventually get the hang of everything and be like all the other nurses, I only hope I can be as good as them someday. again I will return tomorrow ready like a new nurse is and Im excited! I will be on a different hall with new faces to learn and new challenges to face! Im ready and have an open mind that I feel allows me to learn new things and adjust to the new life as a nurse. Everyone there is a team and its nice knowing that I work at a place where eveyone is willing to help and answer questions. I just wanted to share a little bit of my experience as a new nurse and I will contiue to update you as much as I can about my daily life as a nurse, wife, mother, sister and friend to many.

Monday, February 15, 2010

White Chocolate Mocha.... Lovin it.

White Chocolate Mocha thats all I have to say!! YUMMY YUMMY sweet goodness in my tummy!! So today with all this snow and no roads cleared off I decided to venture out with Doug and the kiddos and treat us all to the wonderful taste of the famous starbucks white chocolate mocha!! Yes i bought my kids one too just because it is also their favorite, yeah I know its not good for them but hey we were having a moment together and well there is no age on good taste!! So we bundled up and out we went. We had a really good time and the kids thought they were sooo cool walking around kroger with their starbucks cups. Its expensive I know but so worth it just for that warm creamy taste entering your mouth and warming your belly. On our way home while driving as slow as I could we looked and saw a snow mobile lol thats a first for us in Kentucky seeing one of those and the kids enjoyed it!! As we were coming up the drive way of course we got stuck and here Iam buring rubber on my lexus tires so now I will probably have to invest in new ones but hey thats the price you pay for a good taste of white chocolate mocha!!! It is by far the best out there so grab a cup and sit back and enjoy the wonderful taste!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Theresa Star Sheppard Scott... my mom

It has been almost two years since my mom has passed away, it will be two years on feb 22. Not a day goes by that I dont still think of her everyday. I miss her soo much and long to tell her so many things that have happended since she has been gone. I sometimes find myself asking why her. I dont know the answer and I know I never will. Mom got diagnosed when I was ending my first semester of nursing school but the out come we thought was great, she needed a new bladder because cancer had taken it over so mom went to indianapolis where they reconstructed her colon and gave her a new bladder. The doctors told us that they had gottn it all and we were very excited as she was too but then halloween rolled around and they told her the cancer had spread and that they wanted to do chemo and radiation. Mom was a trooper and did what she had to do but it was no good there wasnt anything helping her to cure this. I wont lie I thought og she will pull through and get over this and I was in denial. Man was I in denial big time. Mom wasnt getting any better and I was entering my third and last semester of nursing school. I could not concentrate at all and underneath I was hiding my fear and worries all the while failing school. I remember the day I withdrew like it was yesterday and I remember I wasnt going to tell my mom that I had withdrew but that same day as I called her I told my stepdad and he said dont tell your mother and I agreed because I didnt want to upset her at all. Well mom gets on the phone at the hospital and the first thing she asked me about was school. I was thinking ok do I tell her the truth or do I lie to her... well I couldnt lie to my mom and I told her all the while trying to hold back my tears that I withdrew because I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. Mom of course broke down and cried she siad it was all her fault and I felt horrible!! How could she blame herself??? She didnt ask for cancer to attack her body she didnt ask for any of this!! And she felt bad for me, I couldnt belive it. I knew it was what I had to do because I knew I could finish school another time but I would never have that time back with my mom. I spent as much time with her as I could and I remember I was going to call the cancer center of america and try to get her in. I wanted to do whatever I could for her, but it was too late mom quit breathing during a rountine surgery and was put on a ventilator. I was scared but I had seen people on them before and I remember preparing Doug for what he was about to see and let me tell you I was NOT prepared when I walked into the 3rd floor ICU. I lost it right then and there. Seeing someone you love so much in that situation was one of the hardest things I have EVER had to deal with. Mom passed away three days later and she was soo happy, I on the other hand was confused I didnt understand how someone could be soo happy that was passing away. It wasnt like she didnt know she was dying because she did know, mom wanted to know everything and everything we told her even when we really didnt want too. Mom knew when they were going to turn off the vent and she was ready, she was ready and we werent. She laughed and cried with me that day and I will NEVER forget the talks we had. Mom of course couldnt talk but shaking her head was enough. Mom even danced in her hospital bed that day and looking back now I know we were all blessed that she passed the way she did. I still miss her bad and some days are better then others and I try to be strong for myself and my sisters but inside I hurt everday. Why you mom WHY??? I wanna scream Im so angry and hurt because I dont understand any of this!! I cant hardley type right now because the tears are flowing. All I want is for this pain to go away just go away. We needed you here with us mom, there is so much we feel like you are missing and I know you are in heaven and you see it all but its not the same, its not the same ay all without you here. I wish someone could help me through the pain. I know to most people it looks like I handle the loss of my mom very well but truth be told Im an awesome faker. If you all could only feel what my heart feels then you would see that it still hurts like it was yesterday. I get excited and who do I want to call.... my MOM. Mom you will always have a special place in my heart and I hope Iam half the woman and mother you were. I miss you and I love you very much mom, Love your daughter....Michelle

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Warning Winter Weather.

Warning we are having a winter weather crisis here as Im sure everyone is. I actually dont like the cold or much about winter for that matter, some things I dislike about winter are....
  1. Cleaning off the car for a simple 10 minute run to the store, it takes longer to clean and warm the car then it actually does to run into the store.
  2. Wearing 10 layers of clothes, gotta make sure you bundle thoses kiddos up and yourself lol and after that process everyone is hot and complaining so you unbundle just to stay inside.
  3. Tracking in the snow all through your house, I hate that. You come to get warm,put on new clothes with clean socks and all of a sudden you step in a puddle that you have tracked in which means you no longer have on nice warm clean socks.
  4. Driveways.... If you have a driveway like mine then you dread it because if you dont shovel it then more than likely you arent coming back up it. You then shovel for two hours come bak in the house and later look out and see the driveway covered again. What a waste of two hours.
  5. No school, yes I know the kids enjoy it at the time but when the summer rolls around they start complaining about how ready they are for summer break. Well sorry kids no summer this year you all have missed too many days. lol
  6. drivers.... all I have to say is if you cant drive in the snow then please leave it parked for those who can drive in the snow.
  7. Dirty snow, yuck. I love looking out and seeing the beautiful snow every once in a while but once people have tracked all in it and cars mess it up well then its ugly and who wants to see dirty snow.
Well that felt good lol lets see what you dislike about the winter weather, feel free to comment and let me know just what you hate about this winter weather!!

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Bachelor...

Where to start with this one.... I love this show I really do but as I watch it I wonder would I really want to put myself out there for the world to watch me? I watch theses girls and laugh to myself because you have this one man who is dating all these girls and thses girl all say how they are sooo in love with Jake, lol do people not realize that theses girls have known him for a total of like six weeks. Thats whats so funny is they are all saying oh I love him and Im thinking you havent even known him that long. No wonder theses girls cant find a man they must run them all off if they are falling in love so quick. I dont know maybe I just dont get it and I probably never will but the people that go on these shows are idiots expecting to find "True Love" in a six week period. Like last night I didnt blame Ali at all for leaving I actually thought that she was a smart girl for making that decision. She had to make a choice between her job and a Jake and she chose her job, in my mind she couldnt afford to lose her job over a man that may or may not pick her, some women dont want to depend on a man to take care of them and apparently she didnt want that. She may have had true feelings for him but In love I highly doubt that! She made a decision that was right for her and I totally agree, it doesnt matter how much money he makes because even though she left if he truely cares for her and wants to be with her he still can be he just has to finish this show and he should understand why she did what she did because like I said if he wants her he can still get with her. Yes she could have stayed and quit her job but what was she supposed to do if and when he let her go? What go home and be mad because you lost your job over a tv show and a love that may or may not have been there. We all see what the other girls dont see and he was into all the girls and telling them crap that they wanted to hear so looking at it from all points she did the right thing. Now I think he will pick Tenley and I think shes best suited for him if she can get over this divorce she had. Yes I like the show but do I think its a little corney.... YES I do.  People dont fall in love in six weeks and wanna get married, the six weeks isnt just spent with one person its spent with a bunch of girls dying for atttention, but thats the life of reality tv you just gotta love it!!! I cant wait to see what the rest of the show has to bring!!

If this is what being retired feels like then I want to work and never retire!

I thought after graduating nursing school I would enjoy a little time off just sitting around looking for a job but I have come to the conclusion that sitting around does nothing but get you bored and gaining weight. Yes I know I could afford to gain some weight but come on this is ridiculous!! I also thought alot of my time would be sitting around studying for the boards which some of it was but I goofed off alot. Now the boards have come and gone and thank GOD that is over but now I sit and wait for drug test and background results. Yes like I posted before I have a job but the waiting around is awful! I NEVER thought I would get tired of being at home but low and behold Im sick of it. Then of course your mind starts wondering about what if I was a stay at home mom? Well to be honest that would NOT be on my things to do!! I hate being at home and yes I know that some of you moms love it and thats great for YOU but I have to have a life outside of my home! Then I think about retirement and well if this is what it would feel like then I will continue to work!! I know this is me complaining but Iam truely greatful that Iam able to get up and go to work. Im just tired of sitting around the house all day. You know there is only so much you can clean in a house? lol I know that when I start working here soon I will look back at this blog posting and think what was I complaining about because I will be tired and wore out and just wishing that I could be at home and relaxing. I know I should be enjoying my time off that I have right now but goodness what do you do with the time? I watch movies, clean, homework with kids, hang out with my husband but to me its the same thing everyday. So before I end this let me just say what Iam thankful for.... I am thankful that GOD has givin me the ability to work and to wake up each morning to see the daylight, iam thankful for my kids and my husband, thankful for my friends and family and mostly thankful to GOD for being alive!! Thankful for this blog to let me just come and vent and feel better afterwards!!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I have a JOB!!!

After a few works of searching for a job  have finally landed one!! I will be starting at Bardford square nursing home in the next week or so. Im super excited because I have been ready to work on the floor as a nurse by myself without holding the hand of a teacher. I have to do my 120 hours still but thats ok Im just glad someone is giving me the chance to do them. As nurses you all understand the searching that is required to find a place that will give you the oppertunity to do them. The pay is surprising as well, I have no problem telling you as I dont keep much private in my life.... during the 120 hours I will be making 15 and hr,after the 120 I will work on first for a short while and that gets me 16 and hour then I will be put on second where I will be making 18 an hour. As an LPN 18 an hour is great for just getting out of school! I cant complain and the fact that I only have to do 8 hour shifts is AWESOME!! I actually came across this job from my friend Ashley who I had went to nursing school with and she works there and told me to come apply there so I did and she has done alot of advacating for me to get me the job so thank you Ashley for believing in me and syaing that I will be a great nurse! I owe ya one!!! Im so ready to begin this new journey and see what comes my way! Im always up for a new challange. I have done my background check and drug test which I know is all fine and then I have orientation coming up soon and I will be working in the field I have always dreamed about! Thank you to all who have supported me in this journey and Iam truely blessed to have family and friends like you all so from the bottom of my heart I just want to say THANK YOU!!

On another note I want to thank the LORD for watching over one of my friends cousins Brock, Brock had heart surgery yesterday and the surgery was good and I know his family was worried but the power of prayer is so strong and I truely believed the LORD heard all our prayers that we sent up to him!! Its amazing how our GOD knows what we need from him!! Thank you GOD for being with his family and for watching over such a good person like Brock. Lets all  continue to pray that he has a successful recovery and that he gets back on his feet soon.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Passed My boards!!! Im an official NURSE!!

It is official..... I passed my boards and I'm now a licensed practical nurse!!! The joy and excitement I feel right now is so overwhelming that I cant even explain it to put into words. I started school in 2006 doing my prerexs when I finished my prerexs I was excited because I had made the deans list and got accepted into the lpn program, I couldnt have been happier!! I made it all the way to my last semester in the nursing program when I suddenly had to withdraw because my mom was getting worse with her cancer and I needed to be there for her, I didnt regret my decision because I knew I would go back but I was sad because I had wanted to finish with my class because I had gotten close to two of the girls in my class, Kelly Carriss and Ashley Hensley. We were each others rock all through nursing and we were always their for each other. They both continued on and both passed which was awesome because they deserved it!! They are both successful working in two different fields Kelly at family allergy and asthma and Ashley at Bradford Square nursing home. I on the other had to go back and when I did I still wasnt ready I wasnt over the fact that I had lost my mother to her battle with cancer and began to have panic attacks where yet again I had to withdraw. At this point I wondered if I should continue on this journey of nursing or just give it up but yet again I pushed forward and went back and this time with help from GOD I graduated!! I couldnt believe it... did I really just do this... is this a dream? Yes it was a dream but a dream come true that I had waited on forever. So on Jan 26, 2010 I took my boards. They make you feel like you are in prison with all the papers, finger prints, picture and palm prints. Not to mention that they video and audio record you while you take the test all the while they sit in a glass office and patrol the situation lol. It was nerve racking to say the least!!! I felt like when I sat down and started that I didnt know anything I didnt feel prepared. I walked out of there feeling like a failure and then you have to wait two days scared to death to see if you passed. Its the worst feeling ever but low and behold the results were in and i had PASSED!!! Iam so proud of myself, proud to say Im a NURSE!!! Thanks to all who supported me. Doug you worked your butt off to support the family and I know it was hard on you but you did it and for that Im thankful without you I couldnt have done it! I love you Babe!! Kell you know what you did for me to ease my mind and I will never forget that, thank you for pushing me and having faith in me knowing that I could do it, I love you and your a great friend. Ashley thank you for all the long night talks when I kept you from sleep and all the kind words you gave me and telling me I could do this. My family I thank them they were there for me as well and I love them for that!!! Man this sounds good to say.... IM A NURSE!!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Jan 15.2010


It has been a long week. Monday I had a job interview at Bradford square in Frankfort where one of my friends Ashley Hensley works, interview went well so I'm hoping for a call back soon because I need a job and I need some money. (don't we all). After the interview I went with one of BFFS Brittany to clean up her parents old house that they moved out of and let me tell you it was no joke! It was a very old house and very big! lol we cleaned till midnight 2days and finally wrapped up on Wednesday around 3 or 4. I think that's the cleanest house I have seen in a long time. Doug asked if I was getting anything for doing it and no I didn't. I did it because as people we should all pitch in and help when we can and we shouldn't always expect something just because we did something. I enjoy helping others out and leave feeling good knowing I could do something for someone when they needed help. I know there will come a day when I myself will need help and I only hope they do me the same way.Sometimes its about giving and not receiving. Me and Britt had a good time though we brought a radio and jammed out to our favorite songs, lol we danced and did the cupid shuffle which we always love. I think I smelled like pine sol forever though but like I said the house is clean. Yesterday I don't think I did much of anything except wait for the fridge repair man to come which he never did. Its been over a week and we are getting upset because of the all the food we have lost. I wouldn't be so upset if this wasn't the second time since I have moved here in late October that a refrigerator has went out!! So they said they didn't have the right telephone number to call us in their computer to tell us they were coming, well they should have just showed up!! Now they are saying they will try to get us in today like it was our fault. I will NEVER but from that brand again.Now today is Friday and I have no idea what we will get into. It gets kinda boring sitting around the house with nothing to do. I want to go to work so bad I cant stand it!!! I'm ready to put my nursing skills to the test and use what I have learned and help people out!! I know the right job will come along and That GOD has a plan for me and that I should be patient and grateful and I'm really trying, just frustrating at times that's all. I know I haven't blogged here lately and that disappoints me because I want to blog everyday so hopefully I will get it together and keep on blogging!!! Have a fun and safe weekend whatever it is that you will do!!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Jan 9,2010

My pop... Billy Ray Sheppard born July 29. He is actually my grandpa but to us grand kids we have always called him "POP". I have never met another man quite like him and probably never will. He is my hero the one man to look up to. He has 5 children.. my mom(passed 2-22-08) Theresa Scott, Enda Sheppard, Cindy Byerly, Rene Robinson and Vanessa White. Grand kids Billy Duncan, Me, Brad Sheppard, Brittnie Bramer, Cindy White, Jennifer Scott, Amanda Scott, and Andrew Byerly. He has Several great grand kids as well, Raylee Duncan, Bailey Duncan, Kaylan Divine, Bradley Divine, Braxton Sheppard, and Ashton. That's not what makes he wonderful though hes wonderful because of how he treats people with respect and trust me the respect is returned. Hes an honest and hard working man, he always has been and I'm sure he always will be. He is always there when you need him no matter what and that again I'm sure he always will be. Anyone who has ever came to cross in his path has had nothing but nice things to say about him. I wish everyone had a pop like my family. I was actually named after him with "RAE". For a long time as a kid I hated my middle name thinking it was a guys name but now I am honored to carry that same name as him even though it is spelled the female way. As a child I would stay with him and My granny and they put me in dance classes and every time that my pop would take me to class on the way home he would stop at McDonald's and always get me a small fry and small vanilla milkshake. I thought going to McDonald's with him was the best!! I remember a few times him telling me not to tell my granny that we stopped lol. One thing about my pop is he stays out of all the family drama and never judges! My family has gotten ALOT better but sometimes we women can be hard to deal with and hes just smart enough to leave it alone. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him in this world as I'm sure many feel the same way as I do. I dedicate this blog to him because he is a wonderful man who I wish all could meet!! I love you forever and always pop!!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Jan 8,2010

My sisters, I have been blessed to have two sisters put into my life! Jennifer 20, and Amanda 19. Growing up as a child I never thought I was blessed to have them in my life as I'm sure they didn't either. I was about 8 when Jennifer was born and we lived in a two bedroom house where I shared a room with my brother Billy and sister Jennifer. There was room for anything with a bunk bed and baby bed to fill the room as well as dressers, then about 16 months later mom popped out Manda and the poor thing had to sleep in a bassinet in the living room. Needless to say we got lucky and didn't stay in that 2 bedroom house but 2 weeks after she was born. As a child I had alot of responsibility helping to raise them. I acted like their mother and I know it drove them crazy lol. I never really got close to them as kids and I regretted that for a long time but I also was a kid taking care of kids. I love those girls to death now and would do anything for them. Its funny because we are all three so very different, me I'm loud and most of the time out spoken, Jennifer is alot like me more than Manda is. Jennifer is very outspoken and more quite then Iam but she makes her point be known, Manda she is soft spoken and wont really say how she feels as I think shes afraid to hurt peoples feelings. GOD somehow put the three of us together and we may argue and disagree with each other but we LOVE each other dearly and would what we could for the other. I know the "girls" ( that's what I always called them lol) think I probably still try to be there mother but I really don't I just try to be there for them like a sister should be. See we were unfortunate in 2008, our mom passed away from cancer and it took a toll on the whole family. I remember being selfish thinking why my mom? I'm only 28 I shouldn't be without a mom, but then you sit and think what about the "girls" they are so young and still have so much to accomplish in life. Jennifer had just started college, I was in college trying to get my nursing degree and Manda was still in high school. Mom never got to see her graduate high school as she did the rest of us, mom wont see them succeed in life, get married and have babies as she did with me. Its sad because they deserve to have their mother their for them just like I did. That's when I feel like as the older sister I want to step in and be there for them like my mom would have been. Yes I can be over protective and judgemental towards them but I love those "girls" and only want the best for them both. They are both really great "girls" and have separate goals that they both want to reach and I want to be there all the way cheering them on!! So to my sister.... I love you both soo much and you both will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart forever and always. I know I wasn't the best sister in the world growing up and I cant take back things that have happened but I will ALWAYS be there no matter what for you both!!! I wanted to dedicate this blog to them because they both beautiful and special to me in their own ways!!! I love you "GIRLS" and I'm proud to call you both my sisters!!!