Monday, December 27, 2010

Sorry for the delay

Im starting to feel lost not being able to blog on a normal basis I guess I could try to do it on my Iphone but its not as easy. So christmas has come and gone and for the first time in my life I was actually ok with it just passing by. I hate to sound like the grinch but thats exactly what I felt like. I did enjoy watching the kiddos open their gifts and they seemed excited and liked what they had but then they went to their dads and I felt like they liked christmas better over there just because in their minds they racked up. Which is ok because I dont feel like I have to buy my kids love with gifts, christmas isnt about what all we can get its about being together as a family. Of course its always nice to get a few gifts but people go over board.

This was my first christmas not being with the soon to be ex and kids all together in our own cozy little house and I was bummed because we always had good christmases together and I was a little sad I wont say that I wasnt so yeah I wasnt much into the christmas spirte this year.What can I say!

Not much else has really been going on just been working and trying to stay busy as much as I can, seems like I have alot on my mind theses day. Guilt I have alot of that. I hate what I have done wrong to so many people. I just want to move on and be forgivin by those that have been hurt. The one person I want to forgive me probably wont. I feel I dont know that person anymore they have changed so much and it sad, they say they are happy but I know they arent. Its probably easier to tell yourself your doing ok when your not. I wont go into detail on here but there is no way they can happy.

I will get back on here again tomorrow and do some random thoughts thoses are always good because my mind goes from one thing to another anyway. Have a great day blogger friends and remember it can only get better from here!! at least thats what I always tell myself!!!  :)

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