Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Sept 29,2010 Its been a looong time...

Life has changed so much since my last post. I dont really know where to begin... hmmm lets start with the fact that I have a new job and was welcomed into Family Allergy and Asthma in June!! My friend Kelly works there also and thats how I became a member into a job that truely feels like a family. Its a great place to work and I love it!! Monday through friday and its AWESOME!!! I love my weekends, I mean who doesn't right??

Like I said alot has changed in the past few months... Me and my husband are seperated and are getting a divorce. Why you ask would I put that out here??? Why not its what is going on in my life and I cant run and hide from the pain like I would like too. I never thought I would have to face this reality. We have been together for 15 years. Thats a long time, half my life. Hes the father of our children. We both made mistakes in this so there is no pointing fingers or blame. I wish we would have truely worked harder at our marriage for our sake and our kids sake but we didnt and its a shame. But I want to move on because noone can make someone love them or want to be with them. I want to be happy and enjoy what life has to offer but at times I find myself stuck and dont know what to do. Everything I did I did with my husband and kids and now its just me alone unless its my time to have the kids. Its also hard on them and I hate that they have to deal with their own pain and loss through all this. I feel like I cant be there as a mother should because of the pain I feel inside. I know they say time will heal all wounds and I hope thats true because I want to be happy and see what life has to offer. Dont we all deserve to be happy??? I think so. I want to embrace this new journey in my life and dwell on the past and what could or should have been. So this is my new journey!!!

Kids are doing great, Kaylan is 12 and is in middle school and Bradley is 7 and is in the first grade. They have grown up so quickley and I remember like it was yesterday when they were my tiny babies. How time flies!!!

with all that said I want to keep you all updated on my new life journey, the good the bad and the ugly because thats what makes us who we are today!!! Happy wednesday all!!!