Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Random Tuesday

I never have liked ice tea but oh how I have fallen in love with mcdonalds sweet tea, I have to have my daily fix of that every morning on my way to work!!  Im lovin it!!!

I love how my best friend always knows when to call, she can read my blog and read right through me and know whats on my mind!! Oh how I love that girl!! She can tell when your lieing so there is no point in trying because she will always get it out of you which is fine because she doesnt judge which is why I love me some Kelly Carriss!!!

Kids are at home all snuggled up in their nice warm beds oh how I wish we were all snuggling and staying out of this cold weather but that doesnt pay the bills so off to work I go!!!

I love being a nurse but there are times when you MUST suck it up and deal with certain patients! But over all I wouldnt trade being a nurse for anything in the world, hell I worked my booty off trying to complete my nursing degree and the bad thing is is that Im going to be going back!! which is ok because thats more money on the hour for me to beable to provide better for my babies!!

A little boy just came in and smelled like pancakes.... Oh how I love me some pancakes lol

Almost finished with Kaylans scrap book and oh its sooo cute I made her a family one which she loves!! I toot my own horn because It is cute if I say so myself!! So toot toot!! noone else is going to toot your own horn so do it yourself!! Let me hear ya toot toot!!!

I cant get this damn paper to fax I have been trying since yesterday the number keeps saying it busy which is ticking me off because theses vials need to be ordered!! Like yesterday!!! So fax machine if you can hear me please send my fax on through and quit causing me stress please and thank you!!

My dog is soo cute but right now she needs a hair cut like something terrible!! Dog fairies please come take care of this and wash her up and make her beautiful again because this snow is matting her up!! K thanks

I hate sitting by this front door because everytime it opens im freezing which I hate being cold so old man winter you may disappear at anytime now love michelle!!

I really need to clean my car out its starting to look like a mcdonalds with the millions of mcdonalds bags I have thrown in there, any takers want to clean it out for me??? hmmmmmm didnt think so me either.

Some people will never change or they say they have which this person has changed but I have learned that I no longer know who this person is. I have known this person for a very long time and while they say everyone likes this new person not everyone does!! I dont but I guess they have moved on which is crazy to me because we have a family together and this person was all about doing the family thing and now they have changed and I feel like 15years to this person means nothing!! YES blogger world I admit I have done wrong a bunch of times oh yes I have but I cant go back and change that because I would!! This person used to believe in GOD and was saved with me together sitting at a kitchen table but I guess that means nothing to them anymore because they cant forgive. GOD has forgivin me and I know this just wish this person could.

I feel like I cant tell if Im coming or going anymore I need life to slow down a little and I mean fast because this poor girl is getting grey hair lol I swear I am!! Someone please offer to dye for me lol

I love rocking out in my car I dont care who pulls up next to me and stares, stare all you want your just mad cause you cant rock out like me!!

Have a great day blogger friends and remember it could always be worse!! Love to all

Monday, December 27, 2010

Sorry for the delay

Im starting to feel lost not being able to blog on a normal basis I guess I could try to do it on my Iphone but its not as easy. So christmas has come and gone and for the first time in my life I was actually ok with it just passing by. I hate to sound like the grinch but thats exactly what I felt like. I did enjoy watching the kiddos open their gifts and they seemed excited and liked what they had but then they went to their dads and I felt like they liked christmas better over there just because in their minds they racked up. Which is ok because I dont feel like I have to buy my kids love with gifts, christmas isnt about what all we can get its about being together as a family. Of course its always nice to get a few gifts but people go over board.

This was my first christmas not being with the soon to be ex and kids all together in our own cozy little house and I was bummed because we always had good christmases together and I was a little sad I wont say that I wasnt so yeah I wasnt much into the christmas spirte this year.What can I say!

Not much else has really been going on just been working and trying to stay busy as much as I can, seems like I have alot on my mind theses day. Guilt I have alot of that. I hate what I have done wrong to so many people. I just want to move on and be forgivin by those that have been hurt. The one person I want to forgive me probably wont. I feel I dont know that person anymore they have changed so much and it sad, they say they are happy but I know they arent. Its probably easier to tell yourself your doing ok when your not. I wont go into detail on here but there is no way they can happy.

I will get back on here again tomorrow and do some random thoughts thoses are always good because my mind goes from one thing to another anyway. Have a great day blogger friends and remember it can only get better from here!! at least thats what I always tell myself!!!  :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die

Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on # 5 .... I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I can't remember the last time I was kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

I wish Google Maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

random thoughts and feelings

OMG Its been FOREVER since my last post, I know I hate not being able to get on here and blog but I havent got internet at the house. I hate not knowing whats going on in the blogger world!! So I will try my best to post whenever and where ever I can!!

Random thoughts.... Why cant a guy do something nice for you JUST BECAUSE?? Like send you flowers at work JUST BECAUSE they are thinking about you?? I have NEVER had that happen and probably wont for a long time. You know like JUST BECAUSE im thinking about you kinda thing. IDK about alot of you out there but I LOVE when a guy just wants to show you in some way hey Im thinking about you or I miss you. Does that even really happen??

This weekend was pretty good I had the kiddos friday and saturday and though we didnt do too much we still had fun. It snowed saturday so the kids played a little outside and they were always running in and out saying they were cold which it was but whats funny is they changed 500 times and the laundry piled up. Im sure I did that as a kid myself and I can only imagine what thoughts were running through my moms head so If you were still here with us mom I would tell you Im sorry for all the running in and out of the house and leaving you with all that wet snowy laundry lol.

Fire banquet was saturday night and I figured it would have been alot better then it was. While the food was just ok it was nothing to write home about, the awards were ok but all in all it wasnt what I was expecting. But saturday night ended up paying off for itself and it was LOVELY!!

Sunday me and kids played cds and turned the music up and let me tell you they crack me up!! Bradley thinks hes soo gangster and hes only 7. The moves the boy has make me burst out with laughter at him. If you could only see him lol. Kaylan shes a little diva and her personality is soo funny!! Oh how I LOVE those two kiddos of mine!!

Forgiveness... there has been alot of that going on lately and it makes me feel WONDERFUL!! I have forgivin alot of people and have been trying to be a better person. Even though I havent been to church in a LONG time I know that forgivness is a step in the right direction. I feel like if I was to walk into church right now I would be wrong because I know Im not doing what I should be doing. Yes I know GOD forgives and I want my life on track I do. I just feel right now my life is so off track and I know I will get it together and be happier. I only hope that people can forgive me for the mistakes I have made and the hurt I have caused people. I never wanted or thought my life would end up like this.

Oh Kelly Carriss why Im on the random thoughts I LOVE the hand santizer bottle you made with the polka dots ribbon and letter K on it and I was thinking That One with a letter M in the shelbyville rd office would look really cute by my computer and shot room area. Juat thought youd wanna know that!! :)

Christmas this year.... ugggh I dont even wanna think about it!! Really I havent bought the first present yet for my kiddos or anyone else and thats odd for me. IDK this year I guess Im not excited at all because this will be my first christmas where me and Doug and the kids arent a family. Its been the four of us for a really LONG time and now this is our first year apart and YES Im sad. We have had or ups and downs together but we always made sure christmas was special. I miss the fun times the laughter and joy we shared on christmas seeing our kids open up presents and this year we cant do that together. I cant put the blame all on him and I cant put the blame all on me because it was OUR marriage that we both FAILED at. How I wish we were granted wishes so that I could erase alot of pain and hurt that we have caused each other. I only hope that one day we can truely forgive each other. I NEVER ment to hurt him or my kids that was NEVER my intentions but guess what I hurt them and I cant take any of it back because If I could things wouldnt be like this for me, him or our kids. I WILL ALWAYS have love for him I will and Im not ashamed to say that no matter what other people think. We did have really good times in our marriage and I miss that. I have to be strong though for myself and my kids. If I could only say the things to him that I truly want to say to him I would hope he would listen and know they are straight from my heart. He is the ONE person that I wish I never hurt. I know if I could talk to him he wouldnt believe me he would think I was only saying the things I need to say to try and win him over yet again but only I know how I feel and only I know whats real in my heart. Timw will heal this hurt and pain I have caused to my kids and him right?? Maybe one day I will get the chance to talk to him and tell him how I feel without holding back and being scared.

So Kaylan and I played dressup the other night and It was too funny she put on my wedding dress that I wore over 12 years ago and it was cute she really was, lol I tried to get it on but the damn thing wouldnt zip up in the back. I really thought I was skinner now then I was then, Kaylan was only 6 months old when we got married so I thought I was bigger then who knows maybe Kaylan just wasnt zipping it up right lol.

Thats enough for now but I hope all are well and happy!!!